by Matt on November 16, 2007
A Harley chick of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband’s libido. “What about trying Viagra?” asks the doctor. Not a chance,” she said. “He won’t even take an aspirin.”
“Not a problem,” replied the doctor. “Give him a Harley Viagra. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.”
It wasn’t a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, “Wholly crap, Dr, it was horrid! Just terrible!”
“Really! What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and his unit ready to burst out of his chaps! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped my clothes to shreds and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”
“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor, “Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?”
“Oh, hell no! It was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”
by Matt on November 9, 2007
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.”
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, “Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?” Arthur said, “Yeah, that’s me….”
God commented: “Well, what’s the big deal in inventing something that’s pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can’t run without a road?” Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, “Excuse me, but aren’t you the inventor of woman?” God said, “Ah, yes.” “Well,” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention: 1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
“Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on.” God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. “Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Arthur, “but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.”
